Impressions - Special Edition

I just had a great day here in Buenos Aires, having caught up with two of my favourite travelers, Sander & Maartje, on the last day of their 6 month journey. (So people in Holland: be nice to them when they get back tomorrow). I myself will hop into Uruguay tomorrow for a few days of beach relaxation to return later in the week for more of Buenos Aires´ delights

We partook in a healthy dosis of high culture in the MALBA museum of modern art, really trying to be serious about what we saw, but is was very hard ... anyway, much more serious was of course the Dutch queen´s visit to Buenos Aires yesterday and today. A fact you cannot avoid if people here find out you are Dutch. ("Your queen is here !!").

Talking about our past adventures, the three of us agreed that by far the best animals we saw here in Argentina were the penguins (the patagonian ducks for insiders), so here is a special edition of ´Impressions´ in their honour:

Animal Planet, Patagonia Style

The last week Señor Hans has been treated to a surprising number of indigenous Patagonian animals, on land, sea and air. And I can tell you, these beasties are Weird. In the educational light of this blog, I will share all my secret knowledge about them.


Pampa Moose - Alces Pampitus

Most common of all the pampa dwellers is the Pampa Moose, a smaller relative of the Pampa Cow. The Pampa Moose spends its time running through the Argentinian pampas, eating pampa grass, or looking up from eating pampa grass at passing pampa vehicles. Its speed is only matched by its stupidity.





Rabbit Dog - Canis Oryctolagus

The Rabbit Dog is half rabbit, half dog. Although small, the size of a cocker spaniel, it is a ferocious animal. With white foam from the mouth, it attacks everything in sight, often to its own demise. When bitten by the Rabbit Dog, your ears will start to grow upwards.
It cannot reproduce itself, but is the numerous offspring of the many street dogs and rabbits around the Patagonian towns.



Desert Turtle - Cuteus Maximus

The main talent of the desert turtle is sneaking up on unsuspected tourists, who are scanning the sea for presumably more interesting wildlife. After a round of photo taking and receiving comments of the "Oh, how cute!" variety, it starts attacking wildly (Germans first). It can cleanly bite the leg off a an adult European male and has been known to jump for heads as well.



Atlantean Condor - Condor Atlanticus

The formerly mythical Atlantean Condor was first described by Plato, in his description of Atlantis. It has not been verified until Señor Hans, in March 2006, produced the first photographed specimen (see right). It has titatic proportions; with an estimated wing span of 100m, it was seen toppling ocean liners and cruise ships. It is presumed that it feeds on the whales and orcas that populate the Atlantic waters of Patagonia.


Sea Tenor - Mirounga Pavarottina

The Sea Tenor is the singer of the southern seas. Both males and females grow up to incredible blubbery size to facilitate their never ending sea songs. Depite the flirtatious nature of the singing, they mate for life - a rare occurence in South America - with one litter of pups per year, who enter the world singing as well.


Argentinian Road Runner - Fastius Tastius/Accelleratti Incredibus/Velocitus Tremenjus

The Argentinian Road Runner is the fastest land animal in South America. Although a bird, it cannot fly, but runs at tremendous speeds. It characteristically starts its running sessions with a´meep meep´sound and a stuck out tongue. What is left after that, is a trail of dust clouds and a blur in the distance.



Patagonian Duck - Anus Patagonicus

Señor Hans´s most favourite animal in these parts, the Patagonian Duck is the smartest of all South American animals. Its main tactic to fool its predators is pretending to be a lawn ornament, either standing up or lying down flat on the belly (pretending to be blown down by the strong winds). It is hugely successful in evading its predators this way, mainly because it has none.
They can teleport for up to 100 meters three times a day.



PS. For the not so easily fooled, the Pampa Moose is a Guanaco, one of the four types of Llama. The Rabbit Dog is called a Mara, and it is really a dog-sized rodent. The Desert Turtle is an Armadillo (Gordeldier in Dutch). The Sea Tenor is an Elephant Seal (Zee-olifant). The Argentinian Road Runner is called Rhea or Nandu here, and is related to the Ostridge (Struisvogel) - thanks to Sander & Maartje for the Roadrunner cartoon idea. The Patagonian Duck ... well ... is the Magellanic Penguin and finally, the Atlantean Condor ... is for real ;-P

Tierra del Fuego y Sarmiento - Impressions

Petrified

I am going back north and I am going fast.

I left Ushaia at 5 in the morning and in 4 consecutive bus rides I found myself, 29 hours later, in Sarmiento, a wind-swept little bore of a town in the middle of Patagonia. To make things clear, "Patagonia" is the collective name for roughly everything south of Argentina´s and Chile´s halfway line. It is truly huge. Almost 30 hours by bus brought me across half of it. Incidentally, the same trip down along the Andes to Ushaia took me almost a month :-D

Yes, I am going back north and I am going fast.

But I did want to stop and see the "petrified forests". I had as little clue as you probably have about what that actually is, but it sounds interesting, right ? Well, there wasn´t really a "forest" as such; more a number of petrified logs, but lying around a truly amazing landscape. The trees were petrified because of the immense volcanic activity that accompanied the forming of the Andes, 70 million years ago - and me thinking I saw a really old 3000 years old tree.

These ones were dead of course, but the whole site felt like something from millions of years in another time. A ferocious wind was blowing constantly across the multicoloured mountains with the logs lying around. I was expecting dinosaurs around the corner at any time, but I didn´t get that lucky.


I am already (after another 8 hours) in the next place, Trelew (pronounce tre-LAY-oo), finally enjoying a bit of warmth again. The cold of the south has been swapped in for a nice 22 degrees. Good weather to see some marine animals ... but more on that later. Don´t go away !

Interview with Señor Hans

We are joined now by a special guest today, Señor Hans, who has just experienced "The End of the World". Welcome, Señor Hans.

Pleased to be here.

Well, Señor Hans, what is it like then, the End of the World ? Huge fire-spewing mountains breathing their last breaths when the end is nigh ?!? Lava flowing freely and the seas boiling ?!?!?

Errr no. The mountains are pretty scenic, surrounding the bays and the channels; hills and green forests with a calm sea as a backdrop.

But the storms then ? Surely not like any mankind has experienced before ?!? Ancient trees uprooted like matchsticks ?!?!? The skies ablaze, the winds howling a million deaths ?!?!?!?

I am usually lucky with the weather, you know. It was nice and sunny, with a soothing breeze. On the open water with the wind it was a bit nippy though ...

And all the armies of the Earth combined together ? The wildest of men ?!? The angels, devils and demons all locked in the bloodiest of battles ?!?!?

There used to be "wild" indians here, but they are extinct now. The wildest people you would meet today are the tour operators and Spanish tourists, but they don´t really fight that much.

But surely, all the monsters then ? Creatures, hiding in the earth for eons, waiting for their one moment ?!? Huge, hideous monstrocities far beyond any human imagination ?!?!?

The sea lions were kinda cute, lazing the day away on their rocks. Lots of sea birds, they smell a bit. And the national park here near Ushaia is filled with hopping fluffy bunny rabbits ...

AHA ! Fluffy bunny rabbits !! So the Meek do inherit the earth at the End after all !!!

Err ?

Thank you for your time, Señor Hans. Speaking with you was a revelation.

Hm, well, it usually is, yes.

The End of the Chile, The End of the World, and the Beginning of the End

Remember this one, over two months ago ?


Well, I have finally made it !! Ushaia, Argentina. The most southerly city in the world.


And they even added 50 kms of extra road in the meantime, it seems. Mind you, it took me almost twice that distance anyway to get here - did a few side trips on the way :-D

My sight is North again. The road home starts here. Next goal: Buenos Aires ...

But to get here I had to say goodbye to charming Chile. No more excellent fish dinners, homely hostels, weighing of the bread, colourful wooden houses, and courteous car drivers who stop for you when you want to cross the road.
I will not forget the fun I had with Aneta and the bunch from the Luna Sonrisa, Maria on the bus to Pucon, where I hooked up with Agents Maartje and Sander again (and the puppies). Zoe and Tim (nice-but-dim), Trey and Brad, Martijn the Hitchhiker and my own saviors Ignacio and Jimena on the Carreterra Austral, and Dominic and Mario in Puerto Natales.

For 39 days I have tried (mostly in vain) to put some smiles on the faces of the Chileans. 4500kms richer on good and (very) bad roads, and many more Chilean pesos poorer, I say a hearty farewell - or ´ciao!´ - to the forests, mountains and lakes with the customary ´impressions´...

Southern Tip of Chile - Impressions